The Beekeeper Job
The Beekeeper Job
8th Chapter of the series: Read the rest by clicking here: Henry Goodman Inc.
“Hey Splinter, what’re you up to?”
“Hey Em! Just…walking Central Park. You?”
“I’m having a sleepover with Maya and some girls from the team. We are going to have pillow fights, eat ice cream, and watch scary movies under blanket forts.”
“Can I come?”
“You wish, perv. Girls only.”
“Sounds like a good time.”
She paused before asking, “are you okay? I hear sadness in your voice. Did you and Kim have a fight?”
“Not yet.”
“Want me to beat her up?”
“No, I’ve got to handle this one on my own.”
“Stand up for yourself, Splinter. You deserve the world so don’t settle for less. We can talk about it when I get back tomorrow night. Wanna meet up at your favorite worst coffee place?”
“Let’s do it. Something about their vitriol makes me feel at home.”
“You’re so weird, Henry. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
…
The next morning, Hank had an appointment with Shower Girl which turned into a therapy session. He sat on the closed toilet and unpacked all of his relational woes with her as steam filled the room, frizzing his curly hair. A sudsy tan arm shyly appeared from behind the shower curtain, “can you pass me my face wash? It's the white one with the blue lid.”
Henry searched through the various potions and tonics scattered on the countertop and handed it sheepishly behind the curtain without looking. His careless hand grazed the round of her wet shoulder and instinctively drew back. She took it from his hand and kindly said, “Thank you. And then?”
“And then, I came here. I haven’t talked to either of them yet. I’m so confused.”
“Did you need me to be a listener, or would you like some advice, from a woman’s perspective?” she asked.
“That would be nice.”
“As much as I don’t like this Kim girl, she deserves to know how you really feel about her. I’m sure she doesn’t want to be your second-place girl. It’s clear to me that Emma is more than your best friend. It sounds like she is the love of your life, and you need to tell her how you feel. There is nothing more romantic than a lifelong love from childhood realized as adults. She probably feels the same way.” Her eyes gushed at him as the face washed bubbled around her face.
“But it's not the right time. Imagine me breaking her heart when I tell her about Charlie dumping her and then professing my love for her in the same breath. This is all wrong. I can’t be thinking about telling Emma that I love her while I’m still tangled up with Kim.”
“So, call her and break up with her! Don’t waste another minute. It’s never and always the right time for love. It comes when you least expect it, and you just have to go with it, or you’ll miss it.”
“Em and I are bound to each other. I’d rather love her as a friend forever than scare her away by telling her how I feel about her.”
“How tragically romantic,” she frowned sympathetically. “Hey, what time is it?”
Henry checked his watch, “Nine fifteen.”
“Oh shit! I’m going to be late. Quick hand me the towel!” As Donna turned off the water, Hank held out the towel and she walked into it without hesitation and wrapped it around her body. His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets and fell on the floor. “I got to go, Henry. Call those poor girls this instant.” She pinched his cheek and walked quickly into her bedroom.
“I would, but I have a job with a beekeeper in about an hour.”
“You are holding two incredibly volatile substances in the same container. Leave them alone too long and they’ll explode on their own.”
“You’re right, I’ll talk to Kim right after the Beekeeper job.” It was easy for him to say it out loud, but Hank knew it would be incredibly difficult to do.
“Lock the door on your way out, I’ve got to go. Tell your sister Hi for me. I loved her.” Donna pecked me on the cheek before hurrying out the door. He thought this is what housewives must feel like when their husbands leave for the day. Instead of calling Kim, Henry called Dusty, who answered immediately with “Dust master speaking.”
“It happened again!” Hank giggled like a naughty schoolboy.
“NO WAY!” He screamed so loud Henry pulled the phone away from his ear. “WHY DON’T YOU EVER SEND ME TO COVER ONE OF YOUR JOBS?!”
“You can cover the next one for me. I’m helping a guy harvest honey from bees.”
“I’ll pass on that one. I’m deathly allergic to bees. Aren’t you scared of bees?”
“Terrified, but a job is a job. I’ve never been stung though. You think I’ll be okay?”
“If not, I know a good doctor. Dios te bendiga my friend.”
“HENRY GOODMAN!” shouted an accusingly angry female voice. His eyes almost popped out of his head for a second time, only this time wasn’t as pleasant a sight as the first. Kim was storming across the street toward him in Doc Martens that shook the earth with every step. “Why do I see you coming out of some girl’s apartment?”
“It’s not what it looks like, Kim. She’s a client.” His voice cracked and quivered, completely caught off guard.
“What are you, some kind of gigolo? Did you sleep with her for money?”
“No, nothing like that. I just keep her company while she showers.”
“UGH!” Her face contorted with disgust.
“Not like that. She has monophobia, remember? So, she pays me to guard the house.”
“You expect me to believe a lie as stupid as that?”
“Kinda…yeah, because it is the truth.”
“I should’ve known you were two timing me. You and Emma are probably laughing at me while you shack up in your bedroom.”
“Emma has a boyfriend,” Hank shook himself out of the defensive mode. “Look, Kim, we need to talk.”
“Oh no! Don’t try to break up with me now! I’m breaking up with you,” and before he could blink, she popped him on the nose with a right jab. “You’re not going to cheat on me and have the satisfaction of dumping me, sleazebag. Have a nice life.” Kim whipped her hair and walked down the street triumphantly, leaving Hank to clog bloody nose dripping all over his shirt.
…
Thankfully, Dr. Chang’s hospital was a few blocks away. Henry walked through the ER and skipped the front desk to find her. A nurse followed him down the hall and took a look at his nose. She sat him down in one of the rooms and stuck some gauze in his nostrils. He asked for Dr. Chang and the nurse promised to grab her once she treated the wound. After plopping and ice pack on his nose, she left the room.
“Shooting more karate videos, Henry?” Dr. Chang entered the room, removed the gauze, and stuck a flashlight up his nose.
“Kim and I broke up.”
“Ouch, I’m sorry. Do you want to press charges?”
“At this point, I think the cops would be on her side. I just gotta get patched up before my next job. I’m going to be super late.”
“Thankfully you don’t need stitches, so unless your next job is a fight club, I think you should be okay after resting your head back for a little bit.”
“Thanks, Dr. Chang.” He tried to rest the ice pack gingerly on the bridge of his nose.
“Call me, Wendy,” she smiled politely. “I’m your roommate’s girlfriend.”
“Can I ask you a question, Wendy? Do you know if Raj is still staying at this hospital?”
“He is. Emma asked me to check in on him every now and again. He is recovering very well. You can visit him if you like.”
They walked to the elevator and went up a few floors. Nurses and doctors kept trying to get Dr. Chang’s attention, but she kindly told them to wait for her to get back. Henry wondered how a guy like Dusty nabbed such a professional and intelligent woman, but he’s actually a great guy underneath the pervy sarcasm. “Raj, you have a visitor,” Wendy Chang announced as they entered the room.
“Henry Goodman! I was wondering when you’d show up.” Raj seemed more excited to see him than angry. “Did they come after you too?”
“No, this is from my now ex-girlfriend.”
“Dare I even ask what happened?” Raj’s face was still a bit swollen and bruised but more himself. He was able to sit up unable to hide wincing from pain in the ribs and stomach.
“It’s a long story. How are you doing?”
“I’m getting better, but I gotta ask you a favor.” He leaned his battered face in close and whispered, “I backed up my computer onto a separate harddrive in a secret compartment in my bedroom. I need you to get it for me and keep it safe. Then we can resume our research into the moles in the NYPD.”
“Raj, we gotta let that go. Aren’t you scared more of Gilbert’s goons will come and finish the job this time?”
“I wasn’t attacked by goons,” he paused for effect. “I was attacked by cops. They clearly didn’t want me snooping around their files. I was careless before because I didn’t really understand what we had stumbled into. Now I know, and we can go through it with a stronger firewall. The information I found could put Mr. Gilbert away for good and clear your name with the Feds.”
“That would be amazing, but I can’t put your life on the line again. If I knew this would happen to you, I would’ve never gotten you involved. You barely know me.”
“It’s the right thing to do, Henry. There are not enough people who are willing to sacrifice themselves for the right thing, so the bad guys get away with everything. It’s not fair. It’s not right. Evil prospers when good men do nothing. If we don’t do it, who will?”
“You’re right. It's got to be us. When do you get out of here?”
“Another week of occupational therapy and I should be cleared to go home, but I can’t stay there. I’m going to move in with Maya for a little bit. Once I set up a secure network, I can get to work.”
“You’re an inspiration, Raj. The world needs more guys like you. I’ve got a job to do, but I’ll get that thing for you before you get home.”
“Be safe out there, Henry.”
…
It took Hank a while to get to the beekeeper’s rundown house, and he wasn’t too impressed with him when he arrived at the door. “You’re late,” growled the voice from behind the screen.
“Sorry, sir. I got held up on another job.”
“Well, come on in. I don’t have all day. What’s wrong with your face?” the portly beekeeper asked with a face resembling an English Bulldog.
“Slipped in the shower.”
“You could’ve rescheduled. That looks painful.”
“Henry Goodman is a man of his word. If we make a promise, we keep it.” Henry recited the words to mask the throbbing pain.
“I respect that.” The beekeeper raised an eyebrow of agreement. “My name’s Jim Bob. There’s a suit in the bathroom you can change into. Just be careful around the bathtub.” He chortled to himself.
Henry felt as though he was about to step into Chernobyl when he put the white beekeeper suit on. After a few embarrassing robotic dance moves in front of the mirror, he joined Jim Bob on the back porch overlooking an overgrown garden which matched the front aesthetic of an abandoned crack house. The ivy was so heavy on the fence, it sagged into the neighbor’s yard. In the center of the yard were a ton of dirt covered boxes swarming with bees. Those must be the hives, Henry thought. Jim Bob was holding some gadgets that made him look like one of the Ghostbusters and offered them to Hank. “I probably should’ve asked on the phone, but you allergic to bees?” He exhaled heavily after every sentence as if it were a labor or annoyance to speak.
“I’ve never been stung,” Henry was visibly concerned.
“I guess we’ll find out.” He handed Henry a kettle-looking tool. “This here is a bee smoker. Keeps them calm so you can look at the hive without them getting all aggressive. They’re like women. They’re always angry and ready to sting you. Won’t let you touch the honey until you blow a little smoke. Catch my drift?”
“Nice.”
“Got a girlfriend?”
“Not anymore.”
“Beekeeping will teach you to handle a woman. Follow me.” Jim Bob started down the half-decayed steps to the yard. “Maybe we can get you a new one.”
Jim Bob demonstrated how to use the smoker to blow into the boxes before opening, so the bees are relaxed. Then he used a metal hook tool to open the boxes before smoking them a little more. It looked like something out of a nightmare; hundreds of bees were moving all over each other through the wooden frames filed neatly inside the box. Jim Bob confidently used a gloved hand to wipe a clump of live bees away to remove a rectangle frame covered in more bees. Henry flinched, expecting them to leap off the hive after him, but they all continued working on the hive. “See that stuff looks like candle wax? That’s all honey. They store it all along the edges. The Queen bee and all the babies are somewhere in the middle of the box. Let me show you something.” Jim Bob resealed the box and walked him to the corner of the yard where a box rested without as many bees swarming around it as the others. It was a pathetic site in comparison to the first box. “You know why these bees ain’t doing nuthin’?”
“They over smoked?”
“They’ve got no queen.” Jim Bob wore a maniacally excited look and nodded his head as if it were some profound revelation. “Bees need a queen for motivation to work hard. The males only live to mate and die. Kinda like us.” He slapped Henry on the bicep. “We don’t do a lot but put the baby in them and give them a place to sleep. They’ve gotta put up with all the men swarming around them, make the baby, feed the baby, and rule the hive.”
“Why don’t they have a queen?”
“I’ve got to find the right match. It won’t just work with any old broad. I’ve gotta find one that meshes well with the other ladies and the fellas all desire.”
“You and me both.”
“It’s like Tinder but for bees, you know?” Jim Bob slapped his arm again. “I order a queen bee online and sometimes they swipe left,” he burst into raucous laughter interrupted by a smoker’s cough.
“You okay?”
“I’m fine,” the big man groaned. “The most important thing,” he gasped to catch his breath, “is to be patient. You can’t force it or control it. You can guide the hive, but if you get too forceful, you’re guaranteed to get stung.”
“I think I’ve learned my lesson.”
“Good, cause we gotta get through all these boxes harvesting honeycombs. Be careful with my Queens and don’t drop the hives.”
The first time is always the scariest. Henry felt like he was invading their work by pulling out the wooden cartridges, but he was also afraid of getting stung. He puffed a little more smoke before pulling out the frames full of honey. The more he did it, the easier it got. The bees didn’t really climb on his hands or swarm after him. They remained focused on their tasks despite the fruit of their labor being carried for the enjoyment of others. The bees were content to mate and die for their queen and children.
Henry hadn’t thought about children very often, though he knew being a father always excited him. It was an excuse to watch cartoons and play with toys free of judgement because it’s for the kid. However, the thought of kids always brought to mind who the mother would be. Kim was never on that train of thinking because she would be cruel to the children like she is to everyone else. He thought about Emma. She is hanging out with her girlfriends. Any guy would kill or die for her, except for Charlie because he’s an asshole. “But I’m in no place to be a dad,” Henry thought to himself. “My life is a mess, the mob is using me, the feds are watching me, and I have no real job.”
“Hey!” Jim Bob called. “Quit daydreaming and get to work, Loverboy. We’re behind schedule as is.”
A couple of hours later, Henry was working on a bee box that was cornered by a thick thorn bush. He arched his back to avoid getting caught by the bush and pried the wooden lid off. Forgetting to smoke the bees before lifting the frame out of the box, a few aggressive bees swarmed around his face, which was covered by the netting draped around the hat. “Stay calm!” urged Jim Bob, who observed the situation. Hank stepped back and his suit got caught on the thorns. Impulsively, he pulled himself free of the bush and ripped a large opening in the back of the suit. The bees saw their opportunity to strike. One clung to his back. A couple more flew into the suit and tormented him from the inside. The needles like nine-inch nails punctured his skin. Immediately, the swelling began around his throat. Jim Bob covered him in a cloud of smoke before it all went black.
…
Henry Goodman woke up in the hospital he had just left a few hours ago. “You’re awake,” acknowledged the sweet voice of Dr. Chang. “So, you are apparently very allergic to bees. It’s a good thing the ambulance happened to be in the area, or you could’ve died.”
Emma raced into the room and covered her mouth in astonishment. “Oh…my…God! Splinter, what happened to you?” her eyes bore a curious combination of concern and contained laughter.
“Hi Emma,” the doctor hugged her warmly. “He may not be able to talk much. His throat closed up pretty tight. It will take a while for him to stabilize.”
“Thank you so much, Wendy. Why does he have a black eye? Did the bees punch him too?” she couldn’t help but chuckle, then mouthed an apology.
“He and Kim broke up. That’s why he has the black eye. The rest of the swelling is a reaction to the bees. He is on a lot of pain meds.” Dr. Chang gave a sympathetic look. “Dusty is on his way. I’ve got to go check on other patients. I’ll be back in a little bit.” Then she left Emma alone with the ballooned version of her best friend.
“Oh buddy, you’ve had a bad day.” She caressed his swollen cheek. Henry could only respond with a groan. “I had a good time with the girls, but I was a little preoccupied with something. I’m sorry Henry, I haven’t been totally honest with you. I’ve been seeing Charlie for some time now. I should’ve told you because you helped me break away from him, but I don't know. I felt weird telling you. I knew you would disapprove and I…” Emma wanted to reveal a truth that her body prevented her from releasing. “I am just really confused about what I want. This is going to sound really messed up, but I feel responsible for all that has happened to you and Raj. If I wouldn’t have come back into your life you would have just found a regular job and another girlfriend. Now look at you.” Emma began to sob quietly. “Anyway, Charlie’s ghosting me now, and I feel stupid for being sad. I’m a mess.”
It was painful for Henry to watch without being able to comfort her. He wanted to tell her it’s not her fault and she has brought light and adventure back into his monotonous life. Henry has felt like a hollow shell since they parted after college, and he realized now she was the missing piece to make him complete. A tear spilled out of his eye, and he placed a bloated pink hand on her hand. She looked at him through tear-soaked eyes and couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh Splinter, don’t cry. You look so funny. I’m sorry. Even though you can’t talk, you still make me feel better.” Emma sniffled and wiped his tears with the sleeve of her sweater.
Dusty stormed into the room like a whirlwind. “The hospital? again? When is this going to end, Hanky Panky? This morning, I envied you and then something like this happens. I should have known you’d be allergic to bees. You have the worst luck and best luck at the same time.”
“Hey Dusty,” she greeted quietly.
“How are you holding up, Em?” he asked. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in a minute.”
“There’s just been a lot of change with the team and some traveling coming up. I’m also just concerned for this guy. He’s been through a lot since I’ve been here.”
“Yeah, he has, but I’ve never seen him happier. He used to float around like a dark depressing cloud everywhere he went. Then you brought some sunshine.” He noticed two jars of honey on the table next to the bed. “Hey, what are those?”
Emma picked them up and read the notes on them. “It says they are for Henry Goodman and Mr. Gilbert.”
